• Home
  • Subscribe!
  • Sex Toys for Transmen
  • Guides for Trans Men
    • A Guide to Packers for TransMen/FTMs
    • Packing Underwear
    • How I Changed my Gender
    • A Guide to Packing Underwear for Transmen and FTMs
    • A Complete Guide to Chest Binding for Trans Men
    • How I Changed my Gender from Female to Male
    • Testosterone for FTM Transition
    • Tips for recovering from a hysterectomy for transmen
    • Tips for FTMs to Prepare for Gender Transition Surgery
    • When Should You Tell Your Partner You Are Trans?
    • What is the Politically Correct Way to Talk About Gender Transitioning?
  • FTM Youth
    • Advice for Parents of Trans Children
  • Contact
  • About

FTM Guide

How to change your gender from female to male!

A blog and a book about gender transition from female to male. Click to learn more

Men at work – Being a Transman at Work

March 2, 2016 by Thomas Underwood Leave a Comment

Check out our post: Best Body Building Workout for Trans Men/FTMs
Check out our post: Best Body Building Workout for Trans Men/FTMs

I found it incredibly hard to transition gender from female to male at work. It took me two years to work up the courage, but I finally did it. Everyone was very polite, but I really felt like no one really accepted that my change was a reality. Certainly, many people kept forgetting and using the wrong pronoun. Consequently, I felt really afraid to use the men’s room. I felt like my male co-workers would perceive me as a woman in “their” washroom. At the same time, I was presenting as 100% male, so I was really afraid to use the women’s washroom as well. One time I was desperate and I did, and there were some women who did not know me, and they became extremely hostile.

Which washroom will cause me the least bodily or mental harm?
Which washroom will cause me the least bodily or mental harm?

Fortunately, we had one gender-neutral washroom, otherwise I would have been in big trouble! It HAD to be gender-neutral, because we only had one wheelchair-accessible washroom.

Fortunately, we had one gender-neutral washroom, otherwise I would have been in big trouble! It HAD to be gender-neutral, because we only had one wheelchair-accessible washroom.
Fortunately, we had one gender-neutral washroom, otherwise I would have been in big trouble! It HAD to be gender-neutral, because we only had one wheelchair-accessible washroom.

Starting fresh with a new job

I solved this problem by getting a new job. Starting a new job as a man (looking male, and with male identification) felt like having an enormous psychological weight removed from me. Everyone, absolutely everyone, calls me “he” at my new job. No one ever makes a mistake, because no one has ever known me as anything but male. There is no problem in the washroom. Other men talk to me in the washroom in a casual way (contrary to popular belief among women, men do actually talk to each other in washrooms, as long as they know each other).

I solved this problem by getting a new job. Being treated as just "one of the guys" is indescribably wonderful for me. It gives me joy every day to just be one of the guys - rather than treated as a freak
I solved this problem by getting a new job. Being treated as just “one of the guys” is indescribably wonderful for me. It gives me joy every day to just be one of the guys – rather than being treated as a freak.

Being one of the men at work

Having previously been in the workplace as a woman, it is interesting to now work as a man. I have formed the kind of casual and superficial friendships with other men that are expected in the workplace. I talk to other men about subjects of common interest, such as bikes and wives and property prices and weekends.

How men talk with other men at work

I have learned some things I never expected. For example, men talk to each other about diets and weight, just as women do. But we never do it when women are around!

However, I have never yet had a discussion with any of the men at the office about feelings of any kind (apart from the generic “thank God it’s Friday” kind of thing). The only problems I ever discuss with men at the office are related to financial or work pressures, or the weather. I am fortunate that I work with so many geeks that my complete lack of interest in organized sports is not even noticed. In fact, after several years of living as a man, that particular lack of knowledge has never been a problem. But that is probably because most of the men I work with are geeks, and are more interested in Batman than baseball.

Also – and contrary to popular belief – I have never once heard another man at work talk disrespectfully about women in general, or about his wife in particular. When wives are mentioned, it is invariably in a positive way. It seems to me that, like me, most men are just amazed and proud that someone would actually marry them. It may be that I am just fortunate to work with a lot of very intelligent and decent men!

Relationships with women who I work with

I still find that I have a few really good relationships with women at the office. I am close to a few women at the office, while all my relationships with men at the office are superficial at best. I don’t know if those women that I am close to find this odd. I don’t know if they think of me as a strange man, or even if they wonder whether I am transgendered. But as long as they keep unfailingly calling me “he,” I can deal with the uncertainty. I have asked friends who know me well what they think – they think that no one at work ever suspects my past. As they say, people see what they want to see.

Once you reach a certain point on your transition journey, people see you as male, and they don’t let minor details (such as hand size) distract them.

Gender discrimination in the workplace is alive and well

Interestingly, I have earned about 20% more since transitioning, even though I now have a less demanding job. Apparently, gender discrimination in the workplace is alive and well. Now it is working for me instead of against me, but that does not make it right!

Bottom line for me: I had to get a new job to fit in as one of the men at work. Now that I have done that, I feel very comfortable in my job and with my co-workers. I hope that this is not necessary for all trans men.

The above post is excerpted from my book, How I Changed my Gender from Female to Male. You can look inside this book and see the table of contents by clicking on the Amazon link below.

Did you like this post or find it useful? If so, please support my blog:

I would appreciate it very much if you would SHARE it with others (using the Share buttons) or LIKE my Facebook page. Or click on one of the Amazon links before buying from Amazon – small commissions are really helpful! BEST OF ALL – just SUBSCRIBE to my blog. It makes you part of our community, and gets you free weekly updates about new posts. Thanks in advance – reader support keeps me going and makes it all worthwhile!

(Visited 3,398 times, 3,402 visits today)

Related

Filed Under: FTM transition Tagged With: Female to male, Gender transition, Transitioning at work, Transmen

Subscribe to FTM Guide

Sign up to get free blog updates!

* indicates required

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Welcome to FTM Guide!

Hi! I'm Thomas Underwood, author of How I Changed my Gender from Female to Male, and this is my blog. I transitioned gender from female to male 10 years ago, and now live full-time as a man. Right now, I have a teenager who is transitioning. In this blog I share my experiences. I hope you find my blog useful! Find out more about me here ...

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Search FTM Guide

Trending Right Now – Our Top Posts!

  • The Best Body Building Workout for Trans Men – Complete GuideThe Best Body Building Workout for Trans Men – Complete Guide This is my complete guide to a beginner body building…
  • A Guide to Packers for TransMen/FTMsA Guide to Packers for TransMen/FTMs This is a guide to packers transmen and FTMs. What…
  • How I Changed my Gender from Female to MaleHow I Changed my Gender from Female to Male Deciding to transition gender is likely to be the biggest…
  • Buck-OFF Buck Angel FTM Stroker Review – the First Sex Toy Designed especially for TransmenBuck-OFF Buck Angel FTM Stroker Review – the First Sex Toy Designed especially for Transmen The Buck-OFF Buck Angel FTM Stroker is the first sex…
  • Testosterone for FTM TransitionTestosterone for FTM Transition Changing gender usually starts with hormone therapy. In the case…
  • A Complete Guide to Chest Binding for Trans MenA Complete Guide to Chest Binding for Trans Men Chest binding is done to flatten out the appearance of…
  • A Guide to Packing Underwear for Transmen and FTMsA Guide to Packing Underwear for Transmen and FTMs Here’s a guide to packing underwear. There are a whole…
  • A Guide to Shaving for Trans MenA Guide to Shaving for Trans Men This is a shaving guide plus how-to video for trans…
  • Why Weight Training is Important for Trans Guys/FTMsWhy Weight Training is Important for Trans Guys/FTMs Weight training is important for trans guys/FTMs for many reasons.…
  • How to Set Up Your Own Body Building Program – A Guide for Trans Men/FTMsHow to Set Up Your Own Body Building Program – A Guide for Trans Men/FTMs This post explains how to set up your own custom…

Subscribe to our mailing list!

* indicates required

front cover how I changed my gender
Click here to go to Amazon, where you can look inside the book and see the table of contents

Copyright © 2023 · Magazine Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

 

Loading Comments...